- INFP – Pragmatical Sweetheart

"There is no rose without a thorn"

INFP is quite an interesting person. What we can see here is an obvious Caretaker with temperament of a Philosopher. The Philosophy of INFP-types is a system of subjective ethical values (Introverted Feeling), along with the desire for a harmonious, fresh and intelligent atmosphere around (Extraverted Intuition).

However, this philosophy is not about the course of life of the entire human society. There is a clear difference between INFP and INFJ types: while INFJ-type, a natural “psychoanalyst of the world”, dreams about psychological well-being of the humankind, INFP-type is concerned about the harmony of his/her private environment.

INFP believes that the world is too big and complicated to be taken care of. There surely is, or will be, something inside this enormous system that ruins its harmony at any given moment. So why foolishly worry about what can never be in complete harmony? It would be much better to create one’s own small world, with the romantic serenity for those who love you, and whom you love.

INFP is a natural “sweetheart” of the circle he or she chooses for life. This person is adaptable, tractable and full of cordial emotions – especially in the beginning of relationship. He (she) seems to be very romantic and sympathetic.

It is not easy to resist INFP’s gentle charm and subtle fascination. The Introverted Feeling helps INFP create a small “galaxy” of selected people and interests, with very sweet and supportive atmosphere. This galaxy is ruled by “emotional tuning” aimed at pleasing each other, along with desire for a feeling of intellectual freshness in communication.

On their part, these “happy and smart” people around INFP are supposed to adore and appreciate all INFP’s efforts. In INFP’s opinion, this is the only real harmony possible in the world.

Unlike INFJ-types, with their dream of global happiness and willingness for personal asceticism, INFP-types prefer personal happiness in a cozy personal world. This person can be compared to an elegant, tender rose, which blooms in “sunbeams” of domestic coziness and attention. In other words, this beautiful flower requires a beautiful garden.

The auxiliary function of Extraverted Intuition helps INFP seek and find people and situations necessary to succeed and maintain the desired quality of life. However, this quality should not be reached through much hardship and overcoming. After all, God did not create roses for storms!

The Paradox is that INFP, an inborn Seeker and Creator of emotional serenity, may be a surprisingly egocentric and pragmatical person deep inside. In an effort to support the harmony and beauty of his personal or family “garden”, INFP quite often considers the outer world to be a “gardener”.

It is amazing how people and even events move to meet the INFP’s wishes and expectations! It seems like life itself chooses to please this Type. The clue here is that INFP-type is the master of evaluation of the emotional aspect of life.

If you demonstrate an initial hint of admiration for INFP-“rose”, you should be ready to work in his garden, eventually. You will have to learn that the fascinating atmosphere of lyricism, intuitive freshness and promising plans (an INFP’s permanent concomitant) has its price, which might turn out to be high.

The “catch” here is that you might not get what you have expected. Moreover, you would hardly be able to leave this aromatic garden without pain or feeling guilty. For this reason, INFP-s, more than others, obtain the reputation of manipulative and even calculating people, especially for those who know them well.

There is another Paradox: guided by their subjective ethical values system (Introverted Feeling), INFP-types too often end up being “unethical” partners. They, more than others, demonstrate evident unreliability, as well as inimitable avoidance of any hard work or direct responsibility, including such practicalities as paying bills. Moreover, this lyric “Sweetheart” might be simply aggressive in an attempt to defend his “galaxy” of personal positions and actions. Therefore, this well-mannered "rose" has its secret, sharp thorns!

Resume: INFP-type is a sensitive emotional “antenna”, which is tuned to the waves of its private environment. This person is capable of making you completely happy and bitterly disappointed, at the same time. To avoid INFP’s thorns, you had better know in advance: happiness and mutual success with the INFP-type requires obedience. If you are ready for obedient solitude in a fascinating rosy garden -- go ahead! If not - do not encourage anyone, and above all yourself.